Jesus Says Twitter Is More Virtuous As Bloggers Close Down Shop

Twitter=virtue?  Looks like the Holy Spirit.

New York City, NY: Catholic blogger Mariann Seneca did not expect to stop blogging forever at 10am this past Sunday morning.  But due to listening to the Gospel reading at her parish, she did just that.

"It's just that when our priest intoned 'Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no; anything more is from the Evil One,' I realized: I have nothing at all to blog about now," she admitted, wiping a tear from her eye.  "I mean, I blog on Catholicism and politics with a daily dash of cultural criticism.  EVERYTHING I write is more than yes or no.  'Yes, because she's an idiot.'  'No, over my dead body.' Seriously, what does a blog post look like when you strip it down like Jesus Christ commands?  I've got a title: 'Is embryonic stem cell research wrong?' and the entire body of the post is one word: Yes.  I'm frozen here, I don't know what to add.  Can I even add a meme? I just can't blog under these conditions."  And she wept bitterly.

Fr. Fred Gallman, social media director at the diocese, noted that while the gospel gives "rich food for thought," he admitted it would be useful to go a bit beyond yes or no, to present arguments for the yes or no pastorally and logically.  "The point is not to get on a roll with your pride," he said. "And occasionally, to just shut up."  When asked if he really meant that, he closed his eyes and said, "Yes."

Other Catholics involved in social media argued that the gospel provided an opportunity for micro-blogging, aka twitter. "The pithiness of twitter was forecast by Jesus years before we caught on," argued Dr. John Savenborne, professor of communications at RBCU*.  "Indeed, one could argue that twitter encourages virtue by pruning our lack of charity.  According to the Sermon on the Mount, the Kingdom of Heaven is a twitterverse."

"Facebook," Savenborne added, "is for parables. But few can master that method.  And after the parable is given, you need to walk away.  Virtually impossible for anyone but Jesus."

Seneca said she would consider moving her forum "Kickin' Catholics" over to Twitter, but was concentrating on gratitude for her narrow moral escape.  "At least I don't have to pluck my eye out today," she sighed.

--IC

* RBCU= Really Big Catholic University