Kids Say The Strangest Things, Again

In third grade at St. Stephen's today. . . .

STUDENT: Where did you get that chalice you use at Mass?
FR. MARK: It was an ordination gift from my parents and godparents.
STUDENT: Where did they get it?
FR. MARK: At Koley's here in Omaha.
STUDENT: Well, in a few years I'm going to get one.
FR. MARK: Are you going to be a priest?
STUDENT: Yes.
FR. MARK: Ah, very good.
STUDENT: Yeah. My mom wants me to get married, so it's the only solution.

Talk amongst yourselves.

 

From Fr. Mark McKercher's FB feed (reprinted with permission)

Kids Still Say the Darnedst Things (Aiii Yah! edition)

During family catechesis on the Solemnity of Mary, Most Holy Mother of God:

Me: See this picture of Mary? We call this one "Our Lady of Grace".

Chic #2 (9 yr old): Oh, look, Mom. She has a belt on in this one, so does that mean she's pregnant in this picture? (She's connecting with Our Lady of Guadalupe, FYI)

Chic #3 (6 yr old): Oh, I don't think so. I think this means she really likes karate!

(The symbolic possibilities abound....)

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Two weekends ago:
As a family, we were reading and discussing the Sunday readings, including the iconic passage from Proverbs 31, on the virtues of a noble wife:

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So after reading that, my husband begins: "So, kids, what we have here is the Bible's description of an ideal married woman: she is good, loving, works hard, gives to the poor, and is wise and thoughtful. Right? She is not"

and the 11 year old boy pipes up, "Mom?"

(For the record, I laughed out loud. AND I'm very forgiving too!)

Ironic Lessons From The Lake

1. While taking a pontoon out on this small lake we visited, high winds kicked up. The whole family was on the boat. Our 22 month old chic* had fallen asleep, and through the stress that ensued (even the anchor wasn't holding, the motor was a little dicey, parents were doing what they needed to do but somewhat freaking out), he stayed asleep. This is the reason we are henceforth going to call him Jesus.

2. Chic* #2 said afterward, "Hey Mom, I don't mean this in a mean way, but you're kind of a liar."
Me: (blinking) "Um, what?"
Chic #2: "Yeah, you know that song you sing sometimes? 'No storm can shake my innermost calm, while to that Rock I'm clinging?' Mom, you were definitely not calm."
Sigh. Humiliated by my 9 year old.

(Chic= Child of the Ironic Catholic)

p.s. We had a very good time and we're fine. The pontoon was too. Most stress came from not trying to damage it or the dock.

A Slice of Life in the IC Household: Special K and Spiritual Warfare

So, chic #1, my 10 year old son, is asking me questions about spiritual warfare and original sin at the breakfast table.  (Don't they all?)  After bemoaning so much evil in the world:

Chic: "Sometimes, I just wish I could kick the devil in the face."

Me: "Well, son, I think you really ought to let God take care of that.  You stay away from evil and trust in God."

Chic: "You mean let God kick the devil in the face?"

Me: "Yes, basically."

Chic: "Yeah, but, it would be so much more satisfying if I could do it."

There, my friends, is the essence of temptation in a nutshell.

Only in Ironic Catholic-land

Just to say--there's nothing like going to a kids' "Saints party" and watching little St. George try to fence the little Blessed Virgin Mary. St. Gianna Molla had to step in break it up.

Beginning of School Prayer

My classes started yesterday, and that morning my husband, sic, gathered the kids around to pray for and bless me on the way to teaching the next generation of college students theology.

My 10 year old son, with sufficient reverence, put his hand on my shoulder and said "Dear God--please bless Mom as she starts to teach theology to the college students. Please help her not lose her job and let her students pass. Amen."

I thanked him for setting the bar low.

Kids Say The Darndest Things, Again

Part of a series.

The IC family went to an ecumenical prayer service for life on this near-anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision. The service was at our Cathedral in town; the presider, our somewhat new local bishop.

Afterward, this being Minnesota, talk turned to the upcoming Vikings game tonight. My oldest son, chic #1--who has never met our bishop--strode up to him and asked if he was a Vikings fan or a Saints fan--you know, given he's a bishop and all....

[ba da boom, groan].

Our bishop laughed and said he was a Detroit fan, but today, he's rooting for the Vikes.

Didn't help, I'm afraid--they lost 31-28. [Deep sigh.] Did New Orleans really deserve this? I mean, they have Mardi gras coming up. We have...watching curling in the Winter Olympics. However, it does seem that chic #1 has inherited the IC genes. He can take over the blog in my old age. Or a couple of years, at this rate.

Kids Theologically Confused About Christmas

I've posted this every year because dang it, it's my blog, I'm the parent, and it's just darn cute. Presenting: the chics (children of the Ironic Catholic), two years ago at ages 6, 4, and 1 1/2 years old.



Also here. (2 minutes)

Kids Say The Strangest Things, Part III

6 year old daughter: I want to be a saint when I grow up.

8 year old son: Yeah, me too. I want to be a saint too.

3 year old daughter: I don't want to be a saint!!! I want to be a mom!

(Why do I feel convicted?)

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Catholic Style

An ongoing series of life with chics (children of the Ironic Catholic).

Within family prayer--we read the scripture for the day and discuss it as a family--we asked chic #1, 8 years old, to interpret the passage. He did an especially good and thorough job.

IC: Wow, son. That was excellent. That was just like a homily!
Chic #1: What? You mean it was too long?

Chic #2 (our 6 year old daughter) is looking through a toy magazine/catalog (it's starting! already!), and her eyes light up seeing a chest of dress up clothes, with a little girl with braids, dressed in blue gingham dress with ruby slippers and a small stuffed dog. She begins reading the names of the costumes, and jumps up, exclaiming:

Chic #2: "Mom! MOM! Look, it's Dorothy Day!"

I'm so proud. (sniff)

The Sermon on the Mount, According to Kids

A week ago, sic was following up a family catechesis session on the gospel readings of late: the Sermon on the Mount. If you are new to the blog, sic=spouse of the Ironic Catholic, and chic=child of the Ironic Catholic. The chics are 8, 6, and 3 years old.

sic: You know, chic #2, you were really doing the Sermon on the Mount this morning with chic #3. She's so little and so sick, and when we were at the doctor's, you really "went the extra mile," like Jesus said, to try to make her feel better. You didn't have to do that, but you did. I'm proud of you.

(chic #2 smiles shyly)

Chic #1: You know, I could do that. I would have helped if I was there.

sic: I'm sure you would have, son, but I am complimenting your sister right now.

(chic #1 frowns in mild jealousy, brightens, turns to me)

Chic #1: (whispering) Hey, mom! Slap me on my cheek!

I promise you, even Jesus was laughing at that one.
--I.C.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

One month ago...

7 Yr Old Son: Mom, I want to be a saint.
Mom: That's great, son. Everyone should want to be a saint.
Son: Yeah, but I want to be a saint while I'm still a kid. So-- what do I have to do to be a saint?
Mom: Um. (Thinking: how to put this in seven year old terms). Well, you basically need to do what God wants you to do with your life, to pray, and be good for God.
Son: That's great! I've been doing that practically my whole life!

Today:

Son: Mom, I don't want to get married.
Mom: Why not?
Son: Well, for three reasons. Number one, I want to be a saint. Number two, most saints weren't married. And number three, I want a dog.

Saving this for the hagiography.
--I.C.

Kids Say The Darndest Things About Christmas

The greatest theologians begin as confused young kids.

Cast:
Caribbean Boy: 6 yr old chic (child of the IC)
Gummi Bear Girl: 4 yr old chic
Bookie Girl: 1 1/2 yr old chic

p.s. Sic did the video in November, hence the "as advent draws near" opening line....